When we become parents, the meaning behind "parenting is the hardest but most rewarding job you will ever have” becomes intimately clear. Indeed, the quality of one’s childhood has an overwhelming effect on the course of our adult lives. As parents we worry about making sure we do the right thing at the right time with the right means; yet we are armed with nothing more than our “bundles of joy” and our desire they grow up happy and have fulfilling lives. So what are these “right things” and how do we them?
To start, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDCP), children experience their world through their relationships with their parents and caregivers. Safe, stable, nurturing relationships and environments are the most important factors for their healthy development. It’s very important that your child can rely on you to be aware and respond not only to their basic needs, but also provide emotional nurturing and comfort. This is inline with the concept of "good enough parent" that was coined by Donald Winnicott, a pediatrician and psychoanalyst who transformed our understanding about raising children. Indeed, Donald Winnicott has lots to teach us about how to raise children - but warns us not to aim for perfection.
According to his theory, which is supported by years of modern research, as you raise your children it’s not possible to always be a wonderful or perfect parent simply because there is no such thing. Your goal instead should be to be “good enough,” which means providing your child with consistent nurturing that is sufficient and ensures they grow emotionally and physically healthy.
Of course, this is easy to say but challenging to do. No one is born knowing what good enough parenting is, and especially what it looks like in practice. The good news is that parenting skills can be learned and seeking these skills is a potential sign of a “good enough parent.” Yes, being a good parent is very much about LEARNING…Learning HOW to be patient and consistent, and DO your best in each moment. That’s where I come in.
I’ve had ten years of clinical experience working with individuals who suffer from the effects of childhood trauma as well as with parents who struggle with connecting and supporting their children in heathy ways. This has allowed me to have a unique clinical and practical appreciation on how important this "good enough" parenting is for both the child’s and parent’s emotional and physical wellbeing. Talking to hundreds of parents I hear a lot about the frustration, the worries and the trials of bringing up children.
While some challenges are quite unique, their hopes and desires tend to be connected to three main issues – how do I teach my child accountability and discipline without losing their respect and my cool. Through parenting classes, workshops and individual sessions I not only help parents understand how to meet their child’s needs and discipline them, but also how to lovingly use logical consequences and thus teach them to become responsible, competent and caring individuals.
Bringing up a child is undeniably one of the most amazing, joyful and emotionally regarding thing you'll ever do…and I can help you learn HOW to be a “good enough parent” and take simple actions early on so. Get in touch with me by email or phone and visit my website for useful parenting tips and workshop announcements.